My nose will grow....

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Sometimes I feel mean when I lie to people who want to visit me. It's not that I don't like seeing people it's just sometimes I am so not in the mood to be around other people. Some times I just want to sit at the keyboard or drown into the world of music and blast my ears with music.  Music helps to transform me back to younger days when memories where sweeter and life was so much less complicated.

The other night on the phone a friend asked me to come over for a BBQ and added "You just have to come" It makes me feel like a kid when people try to control me. Why do I HAVE to go... is it just because this person said so?? Why is it that people make make others feel so bad just because they say No and actually spend their time doing the things they want. 

I'm over trying to please people. I'm over meeting so and so or having to sit around and pretend to be interested in every minute detail of someones house renovation.

I have said No somemany times this year already and it always interests me the way people respond to that word no... Some people just except it, others won't which leaves you having to tell lies, others argue over the top of you all the resons you CAN do what THEY want you to do...

I feel mean tonight because I could have had two people come over and watch t.v - but I actually REALLY wanted to watch the movie (and because so many people talk over movies or give away the vital bits of story line) I pretended I was busy and instead sat on the couch with my husband, my dog and watched the movie without any verbal interuption, wrecking of storyline or people talking over important dioluge... I would have totally enjoyed it yet I still felt alittle guilty for lying...