For most, Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight saga is an unhealthy addiction. Actually, that may be a major understatement. It has turned even the most unlikely of us into blubbering fools, desperate for a glorified vampire or werewolf of our own. Meyer is one smart woman. After Harry Potter revealed a market for fantasy hungry youth, Meyer simply added sex appeal to the formula and watched the riches flow in. Okay, so maybe that’s not exactly how it all happened but it certainly confirmed that sex still sells. Book one, two and three managed to get by with a few passionate kisses and some close encounters, holding reader attention with overwhelming sexual tension. But Breaking Dawn, the final instalment of Bella Swan’s very surreal journey, did not even attempt to avoid the deed. Why in fact, without the deed, there would be no story.

Before I embark further, I shall make the customary warning to those who have yet to read Breaking Dawn. This article contains spoilers, read it at your own risk.

Breaking Dawn is like a pretzel, there are many twists in it… as well as holes.

I was quite intrigued about how Meyer would pull off a sex scene in a children’s novel. Well, she certainly managed it, but for most legal-aged readers, quite disappointingly so. Ironically I thought Twilight was riddled with more sexual tension than in any scene in Breaking Dawn. But Meyer certainly reconfigured the notions of time and space! Her allusions to never-ending sex were quite mind boggling. This leads me to question whether placing these books in the children section of bookstores is really the wisest choice… You see, I work in a bookstore and I’ve witnessed that having the Twilight saga on the Kids Bestseller list results and finding their way into hands that are much too young. With passions so fervid that pillows are ripped into shreds and bed frames broken beyond repair, I know that if I ever have a daughter, she won’t be getting her hands on these until she’s 20.

So, naturally with sex comes impregnation. In Bella’s circumstance, the result is Renesmee – a halfie, and like all halfies, she’s a looker. Personally I don’t agree with the name, and I haven’t met anyone who does... sure it’s a sentimental thing to do, merging the names of the two mothers, but Meyer, you could have done better on that one.

Having Jacob imprint on Renesmee was certainly another twist, but not one without a hole. If I recall correctly, werewolves are drawn to those who will ensure the creation of stronger wolves or to those who will best pass on the wolf gene. Renesmee is half vampire. Aren’t werewolves naturally repulsed by vampires? So, I don’t exactly see the logic behind Jacob’s imprinting. How will making offspring that are a mix of werewolf, vampire and human, make for a better werewolf? You’ve got me there.

Having almost half the book in Jacob's perspective became a matter of skimming. As much as some people may find Bella annoying, they still wouldn’t sacrifice her perspective for Jacob’s. Less Bella means less Edward. I don’t think Jacob’s part did much for Twilight fans, even if they were self-confessed Jacob lovers. No one wants to hear about Leah and Sam, bring on the Cullen’s any day. And if it's not about Edward, I sure wouldn't mind hearing more about Emmett Cullen, Meyer gave him some winning one liners. You can always trust him to be sniggering in the background.

I have another bone to pick. The so-called "fight scene" is bothering me, because in actuality there was no fight. No major characters died and, besides Bella, no one really used any of their superpowers, unless of course you include Benjamin, who simply rustled up some wind. That was quite disappointing, why introduce a horde of new vampires with a horde of new powers, if none are going to use them for any significant purpose?

Before I come across sounding like one of those unappreciative Twilight critics (or is it too late?), I must say seeing life through vampire eyes is bloody awesome, excuse the pun. If vampire transformation was actually physically possible, I'm sure there'll be a hell of a lot of teenage vampires running around. That's one thing for sure, having a pulse is so overrated.

It’s safe to say that it’s Meyer’s ideas, rather than her writing that has made her the rich woman she now is. I don’t know about you, but I found myself having to reread sections where Meyer wasn’t quite so articulate. It shows that it doesn't take a literary genius to hit it big. Despite the writing though, it’s easy to see why the Twilight saga is so devastatingly popular. Stephenie Meyer sure knows how to create the ideal man/vampire and it seems like that's all that really matters.

Breaking Dawn wasn’t quite Meyer’s best. It was just a little too "happily ever after".  Meyer knows that the recipe for a good story is conflict and it was too bad the conflict here was only half-arsed. There was no sound basis for any of the fights, which was worsened by the fact that she kept building the tension up... to nothing. There was no eventual storm to call it a finale. It certainly satiated my thirst for more, which in this case, is not quite a good thing.

Breaking Dawn was not ground breaking, and definitely not toilet wall material.

Image courtesy of Little, Brown and Company